


Trying To Figure It Out

by criminalmindss312and309



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-10-12 13:10:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10491606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/criminalmindss312and309/pseuds/criminalmindss312and309
Summary: Hotch and Haley have been married for three years. The marriage is rocky because Hotch is never home. They argue constantly.They are close to their breaking point, but neither has let go yet. But then Hotch start to notice Morgan in a way that surprises him. And he start to question his sexuality and his marriage. And he question is Morgan throwing out hints that he like him or is Morgan just been his usual flirty self?





	1. Chapter 1

Hotch Pov..I rushed to the shower to get away from my wife screaming at me. I slammed the bathroom door and quickly locked it. I be dammed if I allowed her to follow me while I tried to relax before I went into the office. I turned on the shower, using more hot water then cold, bc I needed to relax my tense shoulders under the hot stream of water. I undressed quickly and just as quickly jumped in the shower. I adjusted my shower head to full steam and let the hot water caress my aching shoulders. I moaned bc this relaxation was just what I needed, after arguing with my wife for the second time this week. We were arguing bc this was suppose to be our weekend off. Haley and I had plans to to visit her sister and dad. Surprisingly I was looking foward to going on this trip, just to spend time with my wife. I know I spent a lot of time at work, so I wanted to give her some quality time. We were all packed and ready to go when my work phone rung. Haley immediately got pissed and told me not to answer it.I rolled my eyes and answered bc Haley knew I couldn't ignore the call,even if I wanted to. I already knew we had to go in when I saw Strauss number. It was confirmed when she told me we were needed in in Georgia immediately. She told me she would call the rest of the team and we should all be at the BAU in an hour.As soon as I hung up, Haley started screaming, saying I love my fucking job more than her. 

I ignored her bc I knew whatever I said to her wouldn't matter since I was going to work instead of going on our planned trip. She followed me still screaming,while I grabbed my go bag,double checking to see if I had all my essentials. I grabbed my credentials, alone with my fire arms and my brief case and placed everything on our bed. She was still cussing me out when I escaped in here. I let the water caress me for five more minutes, before I washed my hair and then my body. Five minutes later I was out the shower and back in our room getting dressed.Haley was waiting for me and of course she picked right back up where she left off. 

"You aren't married to me Aaron, you are married to your fucking job",she screamed. 

I didn't bother answering bc no matter what I said I wouldn't get through to her today. She obviously didn't care about me answering her back bc she continued screaming at me,as I dressed fast as I could. 

"I'm tired of never seeing you, never going anywhere, hell you barely kiss me anymore. I would think you was having an affair, bc I can't remember the last time you made love to me,but I know you don't have time for an affair,bc ALL YOU DO IS WORK WORK WORK she screamed out of control. "Why the fuck did you marry me if you didn't want to be with me.Why Aaron why she cried"?

I didn't bother to defend myself bc we argued about this at least three times a week.I could never convince her that I did love her, but I loved my job to.My job was a part of me, something I took very seriously and Haley knew this. I was a lawyer for the first year of our marriage, so I was usually home before six. I had weekend's off so we did spend a lot of time doing fun stuff,been together way more.We would go somewhere spontaneously,make love five times a week,we were like newlyweds, loving each and full of life. She loved that and I did to, but I didn't love or have passion for my job anymore .I didn't like getting the criminals after the crime was committed, I wanted to stop them before a crime was committed. I complained about this constantly and Haley listened. After a year of me complaining ,we both agreed I should switch jobs. So I did and at first Haley was fine with the hours,days, sometimes weeks away. But after six months she wasn't ok with it anymore.

The complaining started, the whining, the cold shoulder, the guilt trips and then the arguments. I didn't want to leave the Bureau, I love my job and I love my wife. Of course she don't believe me,she believe my job come first.She always throw that in when we're fighting. I didn't know how much longer we could survive like this,I thought as I grabbed my firearm and placed one on my ankle, the other on the side of my hip.I grabbed the rest of my stuff off the bed and finally gave my wife eye contact. Her eyes were flashing red,as she glared at me with one of my own glares. .

"So you have nothing to say Aaron ",she spat?

"Nothing I say will get though to you Haley, so what's the point of saying anything,",I asked in a tired voice? 

She glared at me and then said

"You can go to hell you unfeeling bastard"

I rolled my rolled at eyes at her and grabbed my shit to leave. I didn't know why I bothered to answer her bc I already knew when she was this pissed, I couldn't reason with her.I didn't bother looking at her as I turned to leave. She was still cussing as I placed my hand on our bedroom door and opened it.The clock smashing into the wall and splattering took me by total surprise. I didn't even feel the small cut on my hand or face as I turned and looked at her in disbelief and anger.


	2. Trying To Figure It Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotch and Haley have been married for three years. The marriage is rocky because Hotch is never home. They argue constantly. They are close to their breaking point, but neither has left go yet. But then Hotch start to notice Morgan in a way that surprises him. And he start to question his sexuailty and marriage. And he question is Morgan throwing out hints that he like him or is Morgan just been his usual flirty self?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm behind on updating this. It's my last two and a half weeks in my class and they are killing us with work.But the good news is after April 22nd I get a three week break,so i can update on time.

Hotch POV.. I stood there in disbelief because I couldn't believe my wife had just threw the fucking clock at me. I could feel the sting from the tiny cuts on my hand and face which made my blood broil.My eyes narrowed to slits as they met hers. She met my deadly glare head on with one of her own, which pissed me off more because she didn't look sorry at all.Before I could stop myself I went off on her..

"I can't believe you just threw the fucking clock at me ,have you lost your fucking mind I yelled"?

"Fuck you Aaron, fuck you she yelled"!!

"Nall fuck you bitch, I snapped"  
"Bitch? she repeated,how dare you call me that Aaron she said in a trembling voice. You never called me a bitch she continued letting a tear drop."

"You never hit me either, I snapped furiously, you can go to hell was my final words as I snatched the open the door"!!

"Aaron wait she cried".

"Fuck you", was my final response as I walked out and slammed the door behind me.  
I forgot that my tiny cuts were bleeding, forgot I needed to clean them before I made it to my job. I walked to my car mad still mad but I was hurt to. I couldn't believe she would throw something at me because I had to go to work. I jumped in my car,slammed my door and quickly put on my seatbelt.I turned my radio on and blasted it, without realizing what was playing on the station. I just needed to calm down

My phone begin to ring immediately. It was Haley but there was no way in hell I was talking to her. I silenced my phone after she called me 20 times back to back.I couldn't believe she actually hit me my mind kept taunting me all the way to work. I couldn't think of anything else, and each time the thought ran across my mind I became madder than I already was. I finally made it to work and I quickly parked my SUV. I rushed to the elevator wearing my famous glare, except it was ten times deadlier. Normally I would speak to the receptionist and whoever was riding the elevator with me, but today I just stared at the elevator walls until I made it to my floor. I was the first one in, but I knew that wouldn't last long, so I needed to get my shit together immediately. I rushed to my office, closed my door and slumped in my seat. If I would have been in my right frame of mind, I would have noticed immediately someone was already in my office waiting for me. 

"Aaron,are you ok", a voice asked? I damn near jumped out my seat because like I said I never noticed anyone was there. I quickly put my game face back on because my home life wasn't nobody business but mine.

"I'm fine Erin, why are you in my office"?

"I wanted to talk to you about the case before your team came in">

"Ok, I'm listening" was my response.

"Aaron this case is a bad one, she began. In the last week three six year old children, male and female have been found dead.They were sexually assaulted she continued".

I waited for her to continue but she didn't. I looked at her but still nothing. 

"Erin I agree this case is a horrible, but we have seen it before. Why did you feel the need to talk to me about this in private without my team"?

"Do you think Agent Morgan is up for this case", she finally asked?

"Yes I do I responded quickly", why wouldn't he be, I continued?

"Aaron we both know he kind of lost it on the last case we had like this one and you encouraged it,she replied back to me.

The case she was referring to was four years old . The unsub had kidnapped three kids ages four to six. He raped them continuously and then killed them by suffocating them. When we caught him he was raping a fourth child, a little boy. Morgan and I was the first ones in and when Morgan saw him raping that poor child, he snapped. He ran to the unsub and grabbed him off the child. I rushed to the child while screaming for the medics because the poor child was bleeding horribly. Morgan begin beating the unsub and I didn't even try to stop him. I let Morgan beat him until the arresting officers arrived. Morgan had beat the man to he was unconscious and I let him. We were both suspended for a week,without pay but neither of us gave a damn.

"Erin that case is four years old". What happened then won't happen now I continued. Agent Morgan went to anger management classes and went through counseling. I had to go counseling myself and I had to attend the leadership classes myself. We will be fine".

"I want Penelope to go with your team Aaron".

"I have no problem with Penelope going, but why do you want her to go"?

"I'm sending her with you because she will keep Agent Morgan calm in any situation". I don't need a repeat from four years ago she snapped"

"If you don't trust Agent Morgan or myself,why are you sending us on this case", I couldn't help snapping back.

"Don't push me Aaron, she warned as she stood up. She walked to the door and then turned back to me. "I'm sending Penelope because you need her there to Aaron. Shes the only calm and rational one on your team. You need calm and rational because as I've always said your team is reckless. I glared at her as she opened the door and stepped out. She turned to me one final time and said, you really should clean yourself up before your team arrive. I looked at her in confusion and she smirked. You cut yourself while shaving I assume, you are still bleeding. 

I flushed with embarrassment as she closed my door and left. Damn you Haley I thought as I rushed to my personal bathroom to clean myself. Although the cuts wasn't big they were noticeable. I knew the team would notice and question them.

I could say I cut myself shaving but Morgan, Reid and Rossi would know that my cut wasn't caused by shaving. I shook my head because this morning seemed to getting worst by the minute. I frowned as Strauss words came back to me. Morgan needed to know we both were under the radar with this case. He needed to hear this from me because I knew Strauss would be talking to him to. I texted him telling him to take the back way in and come to my office immediately. A minute later he texted back ok. I caught up on some paperwork while I waited for him. Ten minutes later there was a knock at my door. I said come in and Morgan did just that.

"Hey, Hotch is everything ok", he asked looking concerned?

I looked at him and was struck speechless for some reason I didn't understand.

For some reason he looked different but I couldn't say what the difference was. He was dressed in all black from head to toe. The black shirt he wore was a new one,but it clung to him as usual,showing off his huge biceps. He was neatly shaved as always, although his eyes showed a bit of not getting enough rest. That wasn't nothing new,with this job we never got enough rest. His jeans hugged his hips, but they always did. So what was different about him I wondered? I didn't realize I was staring at him, in a complete trance until he spoke again.

"Hotch?,is everything ok he asked in a concerned voice bringing me out of my trance".

"It's Strauss I said".

"What did she do now"

I explained the situation to him and when I was finished he shook his head and then repeated the question I had asked Strauss. "If she doesn't trust us why would she bother to send us? " She know we can get the job done Morgan, but she had to show her authority by bringing up that shit from four years ago I explained". As usual she is just been her bitchy self Morgan said". "Would you expect anything different I asked"? "No I wouldn't he said smiling". " Garcia is going with us". "She is he asked"? "Yes Strauss said she's your calming factor I said". He blushed hard because I could see that blush through his dark skin. I liked seeing the ladies man blush although I didn't understand why I liked this.

"Well babygirl is one of a kind", he finally said.

"That she is I agreed, she's a breath of fresh air"

He nodded and we sat in silence for a few moments just staring at each other, lost in our own thoughts I guess. I wasn't thinking about much, I was just enjoying this quiet moment with him. On the field we were either at each other throats or protecting each other and the rest of our team. I say our team because Morgan was just as protective of them as I am and just as much as the Alpha male. But besides our work Morgan and I never got together to chill alone. I never thought much about it before now, honestly I don't know why I was thinking about it now, but I was. Dave and I got together every now and then to have a drink, Reid and I went to a museum once every month. Prentiss and I jogged together on Sundays, JJ and I caught a movie every few months and Garcia usually baked treats and brought them to Haley and I on the Saturdays we were home. But no Morgan and I never got together outside of work, unless we were with the team. I frowned because I wondered if he considered me to anal to hang out with.I remember him saying I was a drill sergeant when I asked everyone to list my worst qualities. It didn't bother me then,but for some reason it was bothering me now. Before I could stop myself I was blurting out..

"Morgan do you still think I'm a drill sergeant"?

He looked confused for a moment. His eyebrows drew together like he was trying to figure out why the hell I had asked him that. Then it registered on his face when he had said that and he smiled an easy smile.

"I don't know why you would ask me this after three years, but no I don't think you're a drill sergeant anymore" "Intense yes, workaholic yes", commited yes, but no I don't look at you like that anymore man.

I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my face if I wanted to and when I smiled a very huge unlike Hotch smile, Morgan smile a 100% Derek Morgan smile. We sat there smiling at each other for a moment, until his smile dropped. I didn't know why he suddenly looked so serious until he spoke. "Hotch what the hell happened to your face"? Fuck I had forgotten all about that tiny cut. I didn't want to lie to him but I didn't want to tell him the truth either. I didn't answer so he got up and walked around my desk, until he was standing directly in front of me. I wanted to drop my head, but I wouldn't because it wasn't my fault that my insecure ass wife felt the need to throw the fucking clock at me. "Answer me Hotch" Morgan said in a voice similar to mine, when I demanded something. My heart beat faster for some reason that I couldn't possibly understand, but I also knew I better had answer him.

"I cut myself shaving", I said.

"Bullshit was his immediate response.I know what a shave cut look like Hotch and what you have isn't a damn shave cut. Why are you lying to me he asked"? I couldn't hold eye contact with him anymore, so I did what I didn't want to do, I dropped my head. What surprised me was when he gripped my chin and lifted my head back up so I was looking at him again. My body warmed from his touch and I could feel a blush staining my cheeks. He didn't seem to notice because all I saw in his face was concern. I couldn't tell him the truth, but I couldn't continue to lie to him.

"You don't trust me Aaron, he said surprising me by calling me by my government"?

"I trust you Derek, I said softly, I just don't want to talk about it here".

He looked at me a moment longer and said, ok I get this isn't the time or place, but after this case is over, we are going out for a drink to discuss this ok? I couldn't speak because the concern in his eyes and voice had me speechless. OK Hotch he stressed? I nodded and he smiled still holding my chin. Something was happening between us at this moment but I didn't understand what. He leaned a little closer, to do what I don't know, but whatever he was about to do was interrupted by a knock on the door. He looked at me a moment longer before he released my chin. I missed that warmth immediately, missed the contact that we were just sharing. He stepped back, putting the respectable distance between us and waited for me to tell whoever it was at the door to come in. It took me a minute to find my voice, but a moment later I did.

"Come on in I said in what I hoped was a steady voice". The door opened and Garcia entered. I smiled at her and she smiled back and then told me she was ready to present the case and the rest of the team was waiting. I'll be right there I told her and Garcia you are coming with us. Ok sir she said smiling. I'll grab your go bag Morgan said to her". "Thank you Chocolate Thunder", she said flirting. "Anytime mama he said with a smile". I smiled at their closeness as I stood and grabbed my cell, guns and my own go bag. I didn't realize I was smiling as I exited my office. Didn't have a clue that it was Morgan that had put that smile on my face.My step was lighter and heart felt a little happiness all because Morgan had showed me the tenderness my wife hadn't shown in a long time.


	3. Chapter 3

Morgan POV...I left Hotch office deep in thought about a few things. After I walked Garcia to her office and grabbed her go-bag and took it to my office, I let my thoughts surface, The first thing that concerned me was those cuts on his face. I knew he didn't get them from shaving because they were sharp and clean, not jagged like a razor would make. It was like someone had threw something at him and the impact of the object cut into his skin. But who I wondered would get close enough to him to do so? Besides his team the only other person close to him was his wife and I didn't want to believe she would harm him. As far as i knew their marriage wasn't in trouble,at least Hotch didn't carry the usual signs of a man who marriage was in trouble. He wasn't short tempered, distracted or angry at the world. Then there was the fact that he lied to me, why would he do that I wondered? I thought on that for a minute before I had a disturbing thought, was he hurting himself? I pondered on that for a moment and decided that wasn't it. First off Hotch wouldn't self harm himself and second if he was he wouldn't make visible marks on himself. He would hide it because he would be ashamed to let anyone know. I analyzed over the situation for a moment more but came up with nothing. I decided I'd just have to wait until we had that drink to find out what he was hiding. My next thought was why would Hotch ask if I thought he was a drill sergeant after all this time. Yes back then he rally was a drill sergeant and I won't lie he got on my nerves with that shit, but after Gideon left and Rossi returned Hotch eased up a bit day by day, until I considered him as human and not just a machine who barked out orders. Don't get me wrong he still will tear you a new one if you take it there, but for the most part he's laid back with us and will protect us at any cost. But what puzzled me the most and warmed my heart at the same time is how happy he looked when I said no. I haven't saw Hotch smile like that in a long time and I am happy I was the one able to bring forward such a amazing smile from him. I had a weird emotion when I held his chin in my hand, I felt drawn to him. It could have been because I was looking into his eyes. I never noticed how dark they were, dark as chocolate but lightened with a touch of caramel. I leaned closer when I thought I saw a spark of green in them because I didn't think anyone eyes could be multi-colored. His own eyes widened as I moved closer but he was probably wondering why the hell was I invading his personal space. But I didn't get a chance to see if I was right because someone knocked at the door. I held his face a moment longer then snapped to my senses. I knew it would look weird to whomever was at the door if they came in and saw me holding Hotch chin, and Hotch sitting there as if in a trance letting me do so. So I stepped back to put a respectable distance between us and I could of sworn his face dropped or a moment with disappointment. But a second later his face was back stoic and he was telling whoever to come in.

"Agent Morgan, I need to see you in my office for a minute", Strauss commanded.

I mentally rolled my eyes and nodded as I followed her to her office..

Hotch POV...After Morgan left my office I grabbed my go bag and went to the break room to get my much needed coffee. While I was preparing it Haley called again and I sighed and decided to answer.I answered because I knew she wouldn't quit calling and I couldn't be distracted on this case or in the field.

"Hotchner, I answered although I knew it was Haley".

"I'm sorry", she said in a trembling voice.

I just held the phone because I'm sorry wasn't enough. My wife had actually hit me, not with her hands but an object, but it didn't matter because hitting was hitting regardless of how you did it.

"Aaron I was just angry she continued when I remained silent. i shouldn't have hit you but I'm so tried of our plans been canceled because of your job. I want to spend time with you baby, we need to spend time together as a family,but it's like you cant see that.You didn't even seem upset that out plans was canceled, she accused". I sighed and then answered her.

"Haley I am sorry our plans are canceled, like you I was looking forward to this weekend.But I can't help when we get called in Haley, you know that I continued. I'm on call at all times and I don't like it anymore than you do. But you didn't have any right to turn violent and lash out at me by throwing something. I have cuts I don't want to explain to my team, hell I don't want to explain them I snapped".

"It's always about your precious team isn't it Aaron, she snapped back. You could make up something if you had to, but no you wouldn't do that because your team is more important to you than I am.Your wife,the woman you suppose love should come first", she yelled.

I couldn't believe the gall or selfishness of this woman I called my wife. She act like I was the one in the wrong, the one who had struck her and left marks to prove it. Was she always this selfish,I wondered? Was she able to hide it that well? I realized I didn't have time for this, didn't have time to listen o her nonsense, I had a case to solve with my team.

"Haley my job hasn't changed in the few years I've been here, my devotion to the job hasn't changed either. If I am called in, I must come in", I said sounding as if I was talking to a ten yer old. I don't..

"It's always your job Aaron she interrupted. Nobody is as devoted to their job as you are unless there is something in it for them. Who are you fucking at the job huh? Is it Jennifer or...

I hung up because if I didn't I would say something I couldn't ever take back. I probably would have called her every name in the book I could think of because this time she had went to damn far. I couldn't believe she was accusing me of fucking my teammates. My phone rung and I sent her straight to voicemail as I headed to Garcia office and knocked on her door. In the time it took for Garcia to open the door, Haley had called twice more and a voicemail. My phone sounded off like a bird indicating I had a new text message.I ignored it and smiled at Garcia. I was about to put her all in my business but I didn't give a damn.I followed her into her office and sat down.She sat across from me and looked at me expectantly. I rarely came to her" Liar" and when I did she knew it was important.

"Garcia I need a favor", I said getting straight to the point. My phone went off again and I knew I had to settle this quickly.

"Of course sir, what do you need"?

"I need you to forward all calls, text messages and voicemail's from my wife from my cell phone to my work phone. I also need you to block the same from my cell", I said looking her deep in the eyes. To her credit her facial didn't show much but her eyes showed surprise. She didn't ask why,but I know she had to wonder. Before either of us could move my phone rung again and of course it was Haley. I sent her to voicemail and locked eyes with Garcia.

"You can do it now please", I said sounding stern as ever.

"Yes yes of course sir", she said rushing to her desk. I waited in silence and five minutes later she was done with my request.

"It's done", she said although I suspected as much when she turned to me.

"Thank you", I said as I got up to leave. I didn't bother telling her to keep quiet because I knew she would share this information with Morgan regardless of what I said. Just like JJ and Prentiss shared information, as well as Morgan and Reid and Dave and I.We were as close as a family but each of us had one or two people that we could relate to more personally. It didn't take away from us as a family though, it only made us closer. I could have made the request, but I realized I didn't mind her sharing the information with Morgan. I felt closer to him after our talk, I thought smiling slightly. I hurried to the break room to grab a coffee because I needed to sit and get myself together.I poured a cup and decided not to add cream or sugar because my nerves didn't need either. I then went to the conference room to wait for my team. I erased the texts from Haley without reading them, and then did the same with the voicemail's. For the first time in my life I was regretting marrying my wife. I was seeing her in a new light and I didn't like it. I was getting mad again, so I tried to relax my breathing and think good thought, because I knew what would happen if I didn't .But I had let myself get to worked up and I couldn't prevent what I was trying so hard to prevent. I placed my hand on my head because I could feel a migraine coming, and a minute later the familiar sharp pain pierced my forehead. I couldn't help but drop my head to my forearm and pray that it would ease before my team entered. It didn't ease at all which told me this one wouldn't just leave. I've suffered from migraines for the past five years, but normally they would leave after I rested my head for five minutes. I didn't have my medicine, it was in my top draw in my office. I didn't carry it much because usually a cold towel or Excedrin solved the problem, but between my stressful wife screaming at me and hitting me with the clock, Strauss bullshit and then Haley blowing up my phone , I needed my medicine for this one. But I couldn't get it because my head was pounding to bad to walk to my office. Nobody on the team knew about these migraines and I didn't want them knowing.I am the leader and I'm suppose to be strong and fearless. Damn it I thought as my head pounded with more intensity. I closed my eyes and prayed for it to leave. I never heard the door open and for the second time that morning Morgan surprised me.

Morgan POV... After I listen to Strauss go on and on about how this case couldn't be a repeat of the case four years ago I was warned if Hotch or I fucked up, we would receive a much harsher punishment than the last time. I wanted to tell her to go to hell but I kept my cool and promised I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our case. I rolled my eyes as I left because I swear Strauss wanted out team split so badly that she wouldn't stop at nothing to get her wish. I didn't understand why she hated us so much, well she hated Hotch he most, but since none of us would turn on him she hated our team. I really didn't give a damn and neither did the team, but I did get sick of her bullshit. I hurried to the break room to grab a cup of coffee and before I headed o the conference room. I was grateful the pot was full because sometimes it wasn't. I made my drink quickly and was about to leave when my baby girl rushed in. I smiled at her and then noticed the look of concern on her face.

"What's wrong baby", I asked< as the smile dropped from my face.

"I don't like spreading people business but Derek I'm concerned about Hotch", she said in a serious voice.

"Mama you know anything you tell me stays between us",I said. My heart was beating a beat faster because I wondered what could be wrong with Hotch. She took a deep breath and quickly told me what happened. It didn't take long but I was surprised. Hotch never really let any of us in his personal business, although he opened up more than he used to with us.I wondered again if Haley was responsible for those tiny cuts on his face.

"Derek I wonder if they had a fight because he had a few cuts on his face. Of course I didn't say anything to him but I noticed them:, she said looking confused and sad.

"I'm not sure", I said hating I was lying to her. Everyone would notice the cuts once we were in the conference room,but I couldn't do anything, but hope they wouldn't ask about them. And I really didn't know what was going on with him. "Maybe he cut himself shaving I said".

"That's possible,but I still know he's pissed with his wife about something", Derek why don't you talk to him before the team meet up she suggested.

"Why me I asked", isn't Dave a better choice I asked, hoping she would say no for some strange reason.

"No he isn't, she said smiling. Dave is blunt and sometime damn near rude. He doesn't need that right now, she continued. He need someone who is unbiased and isn't afraid to show compassion, which is you Chocolate Thunder".

"Awhhh thank you my Goddess", I said giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Did you see where our fearless leader went I asked"?

"He's in the conference room she said smiling. I'll tell the team we are debriefing in the plane", she said winking.

I smiled because this woman was the absolute best. I hurried to the conference room because I knew we had to leave soon. My thoughts were back on if Haley hit Hotch with something and if she did was this her first time? Had he been covering up bruises from his wife for a while now? And why would he stay if he was been abused? We are around this shit everyday, why would Hotch willingly stay in an abusive relationship? Was he embarrassed because he was a man been abused? Did he think we would look down on him? Did he??

All my thoughts vanished when I walked in the conference room. Hotch head was on the table resting in his hand. He appeared to be in great pain because his face was scrunched up in pain. I hurried to the table and gently layed my hand on his shoulder.He jumped a little at my touch which alarmed me because Hotch is never caught off guard,yet he has been caught off guard by me twice. I was worried about him and after this case was over I was getting to the bottom of this.

"Hotch whats wrong", I asked skipping past asking was he ok when it was obvious he wasn't.

He slowly lifted his head and when our eyes met I could see nothing but pain in his. My heart went out to him as he whispered,

"Morgan, top draw, my office, pills", he whispered before he dropped head again. 

It took me two seconds to figure out what he meant, so I nodded and hurried to his office. I opened the top draw and had to rumble around until I found the bottle of pills. What surprised me was they were prescription pills, not store bought. I looked at the date, which was a month old and noticed the bottle was still almost full. I checked the name and it read "Merperidine". I was surprised because I didn't know Hotch suffered from migraines. I knew what these pills were because my mom used the same brand for he headaches. I checked the dose and saw Hotch dose was higher than mom. I searched through his draw and was relieve to find a few small towels in there. I hurried to the conference and and grabbed a tray off ice and and two cold bottles of water from the fridge. I texted Garcia and told her to make sure the team and herself went to the plane, that nobody could come in the break room. I told her to tell the team that Hotch was on an important call and I had a bad case of the runs, I told her that I would explain later but don't worry. I hurried to the conference, drew the shades in until the room was completely dark, except for the light underneath the door. I locked the door and rushed over to Hotch. He was still in the same position in pain. I knew it hurt for him to talk,so I didn't bother trying.I sat my items down and moved to him. I knew he would hate what I was about to do but I didn't care, he needed help and after caring for my mom numerous of times I knew exactly what to do.I stood behind his chair and tilted it back a bit. He didn't resist as his body leaned back with the chair. Using my leg muscles I held the chair at that angle as my arms went around him. He let out a weak whimper which I ignored. I simply lifted him until he was in my arms bridle style.My heart thumped triple time as I felt his strong hard body in my arms. I didn't understand my weird reaction,but I would think about it later, when my Boss wasn't in pain. I carried him to the small couch and gently layed him down.His hand immediately returned to his head.I hurried to the table and grabbed the water, tray and towels.

 

I soaked two with water and then used another to wrap the ice in.I made my way back to him and knelled before him. I gently placed the towel with out ice on his head. He gasped a little from the coldness but didn't pull away. He leaned into it actually and I smiled because my mom acted the same way. I added a little pressure and his body relaxed more. I waited a moment before I placed the towel with the ice right where his hand was. He dropped his hand quickly and I applied the pressure there. He moaned out loud and that moan sounded so sexual my dick jumped. What the fuck my mind screamed, although I tried to stay focused on my task. But I couldn't stop myself from getting harder when he moaned again. I kept the towel in place as I continued to look at him. I never noticed before how handsome my Boss really is. His face is strong, but at the same time defined with a child like innocence especially when he used it to get what he wanted from you. He isn't pretty like Reid but he is devilish handsome. His eyebrows are almost thick as mine, and although his eyes were closed they were very beautiful and intense, His lips were thin but not in a bad way. It was like they were perfect for licking and sucking.."Wait" WTF is really wrong with me? I'm admiring my Boss like he's a woman and he isn't. I'm a ladies man, I'm not gay my mind screamed. My mind was confused by these weird sensations that I couldn't understand. Hotch moaned again and this time it was a moan of pain..That sound of pain brought me out my mind of confusion and made me focus totally on him. His eyes tightened and a tear dropped from the corner of his left eye. I remembered my mother own tears as I watched him. He wasn't coming out of this quickly because the pressure was to built up.I applied a little more pressure with the ice towel and he relaxed a bit. I watched him to see if he would open his eyes but he didn't, which let me know he was still in tremendous pain. I knew one thing that would make my mom open her eyes and smile, but I couldn't do that to him. He moaned again as another tear dropped and that tear made the decision for me. I pressed both towels to his head with heavy pressure and he whimpered again. Before I could lose my nerve I leaned down, while keeping the towel firmly pressed against his head and brought my lips to his!!


	4. Chapter 4

Jessica POV.. I was relaxing on my lunch break when my phone rung. I looked at the caller id and smiled because it was Haley and I figured she and Aaron must already be on the road. I picked up with a friendly hello and a smile, until I heard her voice. I could tell she was crying and I knew with out her telling me, they wasn't coming.I hated that Aaron job caused him to cancel so any trips but I also understood that his job was just as important to him as my sister is. I didn't doubt for a moment that he loved her as much as she loved him, but I knew their marriage was in trouble and each day it seemed to be getting worst. I always wondered if they had a child would it help their marriage. But then I came to the conclusion a baby couldn't make their marriage better if they weren't stable to begin with. I closed my eyes for a second and said a quick prayer before I asked her what was wrong?

"We won't be coming to visit this week end", she said between tears.

"He was called in again", I asked already knowing the answer ?

"Yes, she sniffed, but that wasn't the worst part Jess. The worst part is he didn't even seem to care, he just accepted it like everything was okay, like I was suppose to be supportive when this is the third fucking time he changed our plans in a year"!!

"Hales I know you are disappointed and hurt, but at least it's is job calling him away, not a woman or worst alcohol or drugs", I began.

"How do we know it's not a fucking woman, she interrupted me? For all I know he could be fucking one of those bitches on his job", she continued surprising me, because never had she in none of her rages accused Aaron of sleeping with any of his team members. She often hinted he was probably cheating on some of the nights he stayed at the job and on those nights she would face time him to check out his surroundings and make sure he was at work like he said he was. Other times she would just pop up at the job and feel entirely stupid when he was pleasantly surprised and happy to see her. Honestly I didn't know how the hell Aaron put up with her bipolar behavior with in these last few years. I felt sorry for him because any lesser man would have left her or at least cheated on her for real. It got on my nerves because many of us wished we could find a devoted, supportive, loving husband like hers. She had the dream man in the palm of her hands and she didn't even realize it.

"Haley you have lost it if you truly believe he is cheating on you with any of the women on his job. He love them as family and you know this, I continued. You really need to get a grip on your attitude and crazy behavior before you lose him. You should tell him you are sorry and if he don't have a case out of state, fix him a special dinner and then please him in the way a wife should. He love you Hales and many of us is searching for that type of love everyday". She was quiet for a moment and then she responded..

"He won't take my calls Jess,my calls are been redirected to his work phone, she sobbed. I know he had that tech bitch do that, which means he's taking our problems, our business to work", she said full of rage again. "He never took our home life to works Jess, that is why I am sure he's fucking one of those hoes there"!!

I was quiet for a moment because she was correct when she said Aaron never took there problems to work. Aaron was very private about his home life and if he took his problems to his work place, Haley had to really have taken him to hell and back twice in their fight.

"What did you say to him", I asked dreading the answer?

"I was trying to have a civil conversation with him, make him understand how important this trip is to me, to us as a family but he wasn't hearing me. He first rushed to shower and when he got out the shower he still was fucking ignoring me. That only enraged and pissed me off more, especially when he was just gone leave with out us coming to some agreement, so I grabbed the clock and threw it at him".

"You did what, I yelled, raising my voice for the first time in the conversation.

"I didn't hit him", she snapped, but I guess the impact shattered some glass and he did get cut a little in his face.

"You didn't hit him but the impact of the glass cut him"? Haley are you hearing yourself right now, I asked in disbelief? Have you lost your mind,I continued?

"I KNEW YOU WOULD TAKE HIS SIDE, YOU ALWAYS TAKE HIS SIDE", she screamed out of control now!!

"It's not about taking sides you idiot, I snapped. This man has never put his hands on you, he have loved you like a husband should love a wife. Yet you throw something at him and leave a mark, I continued, if he was less of a man he could have your crazy behind locked up for spousal abuse or for assaulting a FBI agent. Hales you are slipping and you already know if you continue this the outcome won't end well. You better pray to God that he forgive you and never do this shit again, I concluded.

"So I'm suppose to just take him always breaking plans with me, suppose to accept never having no fun? It wasn't like this in the beginning, wasn't like this when he had his 9-5 white collar job. He had time for me, time to love me, to see me, to make love to me three times a day. He was always spontaneous and fun. He smiled so much, didn't wear that evil glare I have come to hate. He wasn't to tired to do some of the things I wanted, wasn't out of town weeks at a time. I CANT TAKE THIS SHIT SHE SCREAMED, I CAN'T KEEP LAYING IN THE BED ALONE PLAYING WITH MY FUCKING PUSSY JUST TO RELEASE. I'M NOT SORRY I THREW THE CLOCK, I'M ONLY SORRY I DIDN'T KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO HIS FUCKING HEAD!!!

I was silent because I couldn't believe the words coming out my sisters mouth. She had always been spoiled and selfish but never vindictive and plain evil sounding. Never so self centered and never so bitchy. I couldn't listen to anymore now, so I simply disconnected the call and five minutes did what Aaron had done, I blocked her ass after she had called me back to back ten times. I didn't care if she was mad, didn't care that she would call dad and cry on his shoulder. And then he would call me to cuss me out because he didn't like Aaron anyway. I damn sure didn't care that she would consider me breaking a sisterly confidence because I was about to call Aaron to see if he was okay. I was concerned for two reasons, one because I knew he was hurting behind her elfish behavior and two I was the only person who knew that he suffered migraines. He didn't want to worry Haley and he wouldn't have told me if his prescription didn't fall out in front of me one day, a year ago. I reached down and picked them up and like any normal nosy person, I glanced at the bottle. I'm a RNA so I knew immediately what these pills were. I didn't ask for an explanation but he gave me one anyway. After a particular case he begin having intense headaches, which lead him to see a doctor and eventually be put on meds. He said he didn't get them often, but got them easily when he was under intense stress, which I know knew he was this morning. He said Haley nor his team knew and he would like to keep it that way. I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone and I didn't. I prayed he was okay as I pushed speed dial five to call him.

Haley POV.. Could my day get any worst,I thought as I paced the house in rage? First my husband didn't give a damn how I felt about our trip been canceled, all he could think about was his job and his precious team. The job was one thing because regardless of how much I bitched at him, I won't lie and say the pay he received now verses his lawyer day salary provided me with anything my heart desired and Aaron denied me nothing. But I wasn't with him for his salary, I was with the bastard because I sincerely loved him, although lately my love was turning to resentment. But after today's argument, him Calling ME A BITCH, THEN PUTTING HIS TEAM IN OUR BUSINESS, convinced me he was having an affair with one of those bitches. And Jessica didn't make it no better,telling me he would leave me if I didn't straighten up and then hanging up and refusing to pick up when I called back. Usually I would call dad to feel better and let him take my side, but I was to fired up for that. I was looking forward to getting away and once again I was sitting in the fucking house waiting like a puppet for my husband to come home. And if that wasn't enough he would be to worn out to give me the kind of sex he used to give me. Okay I lied when I told Jess he never hardly touched me, if I was in the mood he would give it to me, even if he was dead ass tired. But he didn't carry the same passion and excitement like he did a few years ago. Probably because he was giving his so called team, what should only be min. Fuck this I thought as I headed up to our room to take a shower. I didn't know where I was going but I was getting the fuck out of here. Twenty minutes later I was looking sexy and smelling good. I decided to go to a bar and grill because I could eat, drink and dance all in one, which I desperately needed. And I did just that, letting the worries and pain of the day be washed away in this tiny environment. I was so deep in my thoughts, so in tune in the music that I never noticed I had a partner dancing behind me, until I felt his hands on my hips and his body close to mine. I didn't turn around when those hands tightened on my hips and begin to caress my hip and when I didn't protest moved down to my ass. I just grinded back on him like I was a single woman because in a way I was. My husband didn't give a damn and was having an affair, so why shouldn't I enjoy the same benefits?Those hands continued to squeeze and caress me and that shit felt so good. I turned to him with closed eyes and lifted one leg, so I could grind on him harder. His hands tightened on me and I became moist in my womanly parts. I grabbed his hand and pushed it under my dress. He took the hint and his hand wandered to my panties and he touched the lips of my wetness. I moaned out lout and pushed towards those fingers. His other hand held my body tightly as his fingers slipped inside my panties. I moaned out loud as he rubbed around my wetness and then slipped two fingers inside me. I didn't care that he was a stranger and could be carrying a STD, all I cared about was satisfying myself. I pushed myself down on those fingers and eventually he added a third finger. That third finger made me cum hard and long. I screamed out my pleasure as the music played on, I shook with excitement and pleasure. After five minutes passed I finally opened my eyes and was pleased to see this beautiful stranger staring back at me with desire, the way Aaron used to look at me. His eyes was dangerous and screamed "fuck me" at the same time. I was totally captivated. "Wanna get out of here", he asked as he took one of his sticky fingers from my essence and licked it? "Yes I responded immediately. He smiled as he took that same finger and put it in my mouth so I could taste myself. "Fuck you Aaron Hotchner", I thought as I sucked on that finger like the horny whore I was at that moment.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I started another story, when I have three that need to be updated. This story popped in my head and demanded to be wrote so here I am wiring it lol. I can probably update once a week bc I'm taking on line classes which are demanding as hell. Please excuse any grammar errors or misspelled words or misplaced words. Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading


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